Reply To: How Yoweri Museveni Cheated Elections

[Yoweri Museveni]

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM BOYFRIEND ASSOCIATION OF UGANDA (BAU).
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Because of increase in the budget and high inflation in the economy, the following changes have to be implemented.
1- Any girlfriend who lives outside a 5 kilometres radius will now be considered a long distance relationship.
2- No use of bodaboda, special hires when coming to see your boyfriend. Use taxis and when you come, do not expect your transport to be refunded. In case we are to refund, we need a valid receipt.
3-Mukono, Mbarara, Busega, Masaka etc are now considered abroad because of the distance.
4-Things are hard now. If am drinking Senator or Eagle dark, you should also order for the same but not Tusker, Smirnoff etc. And if you wanna to be dumped, try to ask for hunters, Savanna, Smirnoff, Spin or Cocktails.
5- Concerning airtime, all girlfriends shall be required to stay awake until midnight when MTN zone or percentage reach 99% or else you buy the same simcard like your boyfriend to make it cost effective. For example if your boyfriend is on Airtel, you should join the same network. There is no need for you to be on Orange or MTN or else you risk being dumped.
6- Concerning hair, after realising that this cost us alot of money. Please note that we shall not be paying for hair dressing or plaiting using weaves. We expect you to grow hair naturally and apply things like Avacado. In case you buy a weave, buy one that you can remove or sometimes wash and reuse. Ensure that it can last you at least 12 month.

Management!!
BOYFRIEND ASSOCIATION OF UGANDA